What are you projecting and how is that working out?

In my last blog post, Should the Captain Row alongside the Crew? I discussed the dark side of having a manager get involved in the work. Here it is in case you missed it. http://www.shoesuccess.com/robs-blog/2019/4/30/should-a-captain-row-alongside-the-crew

The end of that post started to get into morale killers, so let’s continue that lovely string.

Just as a pair of mirror finish high heel platform peep toe pumps projects an air of modernity, assertiveness, and power,  a pair of furry loafer slides projects a relaxed and casual persona, where chic can also be cozy and comfortable without looking like your grandmother’s frumpy double gore casual shoe or woven lace-up.

So then, what is being projected by someone who takes every conversation private, outside the purview of others? Is it one of mistrust? A security clearance issue? Or is the person being thoughtful by removing the noise distraction and not sabotaging other’s work?

What about when someone is always on their cell phone, either texting, Facebooking, or whatever they’re doing. If at work, this is a clear sign that they don’t want to be at their job. I’m not talking about the occasional phone task, but instead when this is happening several times per hour. Do they realize that others sense their lack of interest? They may call it attention deficit, but really, they are more interested in one thing over the other thing and too clueless and self-absorbed to not realize they are projecting this bad message to others around them. Perhaps they don’t need or want the job…

What about the manager who doesn’t put their phone to silent mode and it constantly rings, interrupting the work? Message and outcome? This wasn’t much of an issue in the past when mangers had closed offices, but in the open shared office environment, this can be a huge distraction.

We’ve all seen parents ignoring their children by being consumed by a phone.  Message to the kids and onlookers? The outcome to the kids? The occasional call isn’t an issue, and parents need to do more than focus their exclusive attention on their child 100% of the time, but when its an ongoing thing, or their child needs more attention than they are getting, we see bad behaviors as an attempt to compete with the phone for their parent’s attention…

One of my favorites is when all 5 people in a meeting have their phones set on the table in clear view. Are they all expecting a very important call?  Not likely. Message: nobody wants to be there, and they are hoping their phone rescues them from this painful meeting. Outcome: minds wandering and a lack of focus and progress.

What about the person who is always talking about how their life sucks, how bad things are, that they wished they were doing something else instead? Message? Poor me, I’m a victim, I have bad luck and I never get a break, I don’t want to be here, I’m in a rut.  Outcome? The person stays in the rut and attracts other like-minded people while pushing away people who take accountability and responsibility for their actions and situations.

What about the show-off, the one always bragging about how great they are, how smart there were when they did whatever they did? Ok, we all got the message, you’re really smart, wow, we’re so impressed…now can we move on and talk about something else?

What about the snarky, rude, sarcastic personality? Not only do they think they are smarter than everyone, but they also have no patience. This is NOT a personality well suited for a manager, coach, leader, who’s main role is to serve as a catalyst and support agent for growth and positive change for people and companies.

Let’s dig a bit deeper into the snarky personality:

Unfortunately, the snarky manager sends the ill-fated message to any and all unfortunate enough to be in earshot, to be on guard and careful what you say, think and do since you will likely be attacked with insults either to your face or behind your back. This is a tragedy, as meaningful change usually requires unguarded, honest input and the not-so-obvious questions and devil’s advocate style comments that prompts the resetting of perspectives and the generation of fresh thinking and ideas. Anyone can easily grab low handing fruit, and connect the dots that are visible to all, and this will get you, well, to the place everyone else is going. Nowhere special.  Progress requires initiative, passion, and perseverance, all things that are dashed by an abrasive personality and hostile environment. So then what’s the message and outcome of the snark? Watch what you say and do, since you will be judged and exposed as the idiot that you are. This message pushes good people away while those that have already checked out a long time ago tend to hang in there and endure the torture. Who would sign up for that?

Considering that most people want to enjoy how they spend their time, and that companies generally want to be the best (most efficient, profitable, fastest, etc.) at whatever they are doing, or at least to carve out a nice existence for their customers, employees and shareholders, they generally desire to deliver great experiences, products, and services to ensure a bright future with a high level of earnings and profit. This would lead one to believe that creating a positive work environment where all are supported to be their best, would be one of the highest priorities for any company.

From another perspective, replacing an employee costs as much as one-half to about two times that person's annual salary (according to Gallup), and considering that nobody wants a job that could make them sick with stress working in a hostile or verbally aggressive environment, you would imagine that companies would go the path of a positive work environment, in order to keep their costs low, attract and keep the best people, and to bring out the best in their people.

I’d love to gain others’ perspectives on this issue - please share what your company is doing to enable the best outcomes, or if nothing comes to mind, share an example of an incident where certain behaviors projected a message and created great or less than ideal outcomes.

-Rob